Another You
by Justlucyhere
Summary: Everlark fanfiction. Set post-mockingjay. Katniss realises how badly Peeta's episodes effect her, too. "Well, say something, you idiot. Or can't you even open your mouth without killing a few people?" Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins does.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter** **One**

Peeta's strong arm curls around my waist and I immediately settle into his embrace as we watch the moon slip through the blackening sky. A slither of light shining through the darkness. Someone people say that's what I was, but I could never take credit for the work of millions of innocent people who sacrificed their lives for the much-needed rebellion. In my eyes, all I done was proved to people that anyone could stop this horror, no matter which district they were from, what resources they had or how poor they were. Besides, I think everyone knew that anyway. You just have to know that you're going to be backed up against your enemy even after your death.

"What are you thinking about?" Peeta question curiously as I burst from my bubble of thought.

"Definitely not you," I reply sarcastically. It comes easily when I'm with him. A hearty laugh escapes his open mouth. Nothing puts off that boy; I don't know how.

"Well, that's a start. Seriously, though, you look disturbed," he provokes.

"The rebellion." I tilt my head just in time to witness his pupils darken dramatically. I dart up and begin to back away carefully.

"Peeta, it's me. It's Katniss. You're fine. It's all over. Don't worry you're happy now," I continue to repeat as I walk cautiously away. Considering all I said, this should work. Normally it has to be a direct mention of his hijacking or me being considered "mutt-like" for an eventful episode to occur. Sometimes not even them things cause an attack.

"Where's my family?!" he demands. And then it hits me. He thinks I killed them. Again. He might as well be right, the amount of people who did die for me. "You done it, didn't you? You killed my family. You murdered them,' I hate them. I hate President Snow. By doing this, as long as Peeta lives, the evil and ruthlessness witch was the awful man lives on to terrorise me. My pulse hammers in my head and I am knocked to the ground with dizziness.

Huge dilated eyes burn my face. Putting together the pieces, I realise it wasn't dizziness that knocked me to the ground, it was the monster looming over me.

"Well say something, you idiot. Or can't you even open your mouth without killing a few innocent people?" He glowers. It's not true, Katniss. You didn't kill those people; the Capitol did. But it's not true. I led them on to believing in an easy victory. My lips quiver and try to form a suitable response but nothing come to mind before a huge bear hand whips my forehead ferociously. I yank myself up and push his muscular body off my smaller one. Using what I think will cause as little damage as possible, I throw a punch at his stomach: just enough to distract him until I get to Haymitch.

My trained legs run as fast as physically possible but I feel a point drag through my elbow and arm. He has my hunting knife, and he's caught me. I am whisked to the hard ground briskly. The tip of the blade dances on my voice box while he decides how best to kill the petty little girl who murdered all of his brothers, his father and half of the country as well. I deserve this. Until I think of Peeta unashamedly weeping after he would find out he had killed me, I had nothing to live for. Peeta wouldn't want this. My attacker doesn't expect anything so I can easily flick the weapon up, causing only a gash in my cheek rather than a death. Speedier than last time, I get up and run. I'm pretty sure he's still perusing me but there's no alternative. Bloods oozes from my servere wounds. I am losing sight. Darkness threatens to overtake me but I can still hear him behind me. Come on, Katniss. Nearly there. Do it for Peeta. But I realise I'm not quite quick enough. My unreliable legs fail me once more and I collapse just a meagre space away from Haymitch's dormant home.

**Author note: This is only my second fanfiction so I don't really know if it's any good. Hope you enjoy it and please review or comment if possible. My next chapter should be up within the next couple of days. Please bear with me! Thank you for viewing, it means a lot! **


	2. Chapter 2

I awaken to yet more yells coming from a nearby room. A mattress cushions my body delicately and I peel open my cleaned eyes to see I am on Haymitch's sofa. A confused look etched across my face and pain soared through my whole body. How did this happen? All events from the previous half a day come sprinting back into my memory and I remember. So I must've made it here after all! But what about Peeta? Surely he would have been found out in the woods by now and escorted to our home. I attempt to get up to find him but my cuts protest.  
"Haymitch!" I yell ungraciously. No need to be graceful around Haymitch.  
"Well, she's OBVIOUSLY awake now," he speaks to an unknown visitor, emphasising the word "obviously" just to frustrate me. "Why don't you go up now?" he says more gently.  
"But... How bad is it?" Peeta says. So he's the unknown visitor to this unhumble home.  
"Two biggish cuts and a couple of bruises. Nothing she won't handle."  
"No, no, no. This is awful. What have I done? She'll hate me. Rightly so. No, no, no," Peeta mumbles patronisingly. "Look, boy. Will you shut up for a minute? Them injuries are nothing. You nearly killed her and she still doesn't hate you. Now go kiss and make up so I can have some peace for once, will you?" Haymitch said not very carefully. I could hear Peeta mumble "I nearly killed her again today," as footsteps plodded reluctantly up the stairs to where I lay. The door swings open and Peeta enters the room. Even though he knew I was here, he still looks shocked when he sees my face. His hair is still crumpled from earlier and bags threaten to engulf his eyes. He uncomfortably averts his pupils to the corner of the floor as he speaks self-consciously. "Katniss, I'm so, so sorry for everything I've put you through. The one thing I want you to remember is that I always have and always will love you with all my heart. That monster wasn't me. However, I think-to save you- that I should leave. I'm so sorry." Being as socially awkward as I am, it surprises me that I don't even have to think about what comes out of my functioning mouth next. "But, Peeta, that's exactly right. It's not you. Yes you could've killed me today but without you I would be a living ghost every day. Please stay with me. I love you." The whole confession makes me nervous but not almost as much as Peeta is. He studies my hidden face, calculating what to say for the best. His muscular arms lay limp at his sides as if all the energy has been drawn out of his with a syringe. Instead of waiting for him to form a response, I force myself to get up off the bed and walk over to where he stands. The minute he realises my actions, his arms eject forward to help me sit back down, but I alter my position and dive right into them. I squeeze my body as close as I can to his chest as my arms wrap around his waist. I didn't realise how desperately I had missed one of his warm hugs. Compared to just a few hours ago, I feel so safe and loved. Expecting him to reciprocate, I nestled closer into his shoulder. Slowly, he took my body and pushed it away carefully. I misunderstood this and thought he was protecting me from another episode of hijacked Peeta but looking up, I could see him fighting a battle with himself and clear blue eyelashes hid the tears that were forming as he looked at me sternly. "No, Katniss. I can't." **Author's note: Sorry it took so long to update; the next chapter should hopefully be up within the next few days. Also sorry for the bad paragraphing. The computer kept inserting random text in between lines so this was kind of my only option. Thank you to anyone who viewed, reviewed or favourited chapter 1! Please remember to review/ comment at your pleasure. Thanks again for putting up with me!**


	3. Chapter 3

"No, Katniss, I can't." My mind can't process the words. I can't live without him. "I will always love you, my dear, but that's the point," he says miserably.

"Please," is all I can think to say. I need to stop this. Now. "Stay with me." His eyes lift from the floor and look into mine curiously. This time, he's the one to take a step closer and embrace my shaking body. For a moment everything seems fine, but his arms are too tense, his normally steady hands trembling. And I know I haven't succeeded. When it concerns my safety, Peeta can be as stubborn as me. So I snuggle in a minute longer than I usually do.

Tears prickle in my manically blinking eyes. I can feel a wet patch forming on the back of my shirt where Peeta's head lies. So much time passes that the warmth could've lasted forever, but sometimes forever isn't long enough. Sternly, he grips my shoulders and pulls himself back.

Looking me dead in the eye, he whispers "I'm sorry," before he turns around and leaves me in the company of our rowdy neighbour. What if he never wants to see me again? He probably doesn't. I wouldn't blame him. In fact, it's likely that he's just realised who I really am and that's why he left. Peeta would never say anything remotely offensive to me or anyone else, so maybe this was just the perfect opportunity to fetch an excuse. I don't think I can survive this.

Before I know it, my knees buckle and I sink to the filthy ground. Darkness captures my vision and the shaking begins. Tears that formed while he was still here begin to break free. There is nothing I can do to prevent the uncontrollable flood of salty water rushing down my soaked cheeks. Pain soars from all my wounds but I don't care. I only want him back. He's the only one left I love. Why didn't I appreciate him enough? That must be why he left. Once again, I begin to initiate a deep, meaningful war against myself. The last thought I have before I collapse into the unpredictable world of unconsciousness is that not only has he given up on me; he's also given up on himself.

President Snow poses in front of me as his servant wolf mutts crawl obediently around him. His booming voice breaks my trance as I turn to face him staring at me with his beady eyes. His lips are puckered as if trying to hide a triumphant laugh.

"Kill her," it says. Just then, Peeta jumps in front of me. Despite his lack of weapons, he manages to fend off the mutts without a great deal of difficulty until one unexpectedly lunges at his exposed chest. I can see shreds of broken skin drop to the floor along with his broken body.

"Stay with me," I beg as I scramble to patch up the pouring cut with my saturated jacket. He stops my actions abruptly by placing a bloody hand on mine.

"No. You're going to live." Then he disappears suddenly. Confused, I check my wrist and see his blood splattered there from when he gripped my hand. Then where did he go? Tortured screams pierce through my heart, each one stabbing me right in the gut.

"Katniss!" Peeta screams heartbrokenly. "Help me, please!" But I'm chained down. Each pain pushes me nearer to oblivion.

"Peeta!" I scream. "Don't .. leave...me."

"Katniss! Katniss! Katniss!"

The shouts slowly morph into a less terrified and more agitated voice as I peel open my eyes and see a furious Haymitch looking down on me. " Well geez, Sweetheart, no need to scream the whole neighbourhood down."

"But...Peeta. He's gone," I solemnly remind him.

"Yeah. And he better hurry up and take you home. You're getting on my nerves already." He doesn't know? Surely he wouldn't joke about something like that. Haymitch can be crude and sarcastic, but he does have some sympathy for serious matters.

"Peeta's not coming back. He left me." I can't look at how he reacts, I'm too scared. What if he agrees? Then I'll be truly alone.

"What You going on about?" He questions.

"He left me," I explain. "Didn't want to hurt me, although I'm not sure how leaving me with you solved that problem."

"Huh." I allow myself to glance up at his confused expression. "Never thought that would happen; if anything I always thought it would be the other way round." After a minute of thinking, he concludes sincerely "Heck, Sweetheart, he'll get over it. He's always been in love with you." Suddenly, something absurd happens. Laughter rises from the depths of my soul and vibrates through my mouth. Of course he'll come back. How stupid was I to think he wouldn't? The hearty laughter continues to grow. He will come back. Turning my head, I see Haymitch looking at me awkwardly, which only makes me laugh even more. His mouth eventually turns upright into a smirk as he tries to work out the origin of this laughter fit.

"Of course he'll come back, Haymitch."

"Yeah, he will," Haymitch agrees.

"Thank you, for this and saving me," I add genuinely.

"No problem. So, are you going to go talk to him." I hadn't really thought about what I would do. Obviously I'll have to talk to him soon. Maybe he needs some space first. He probably doesn't want to see me just yet.

"No," I sigh. "He won't want to see me at the minute."

"Want me to go see him?" I'm surprised yet relieved at the offer.

"Would you mind?"

"No," he smiles at me as he walks to the door. "If it'll get me some peace any sooner," he adds as a signal we're back to our not-so-humble attitudes towards each other. I'm glad. Haymitch and I have become quite close since the rebellion. His teasing brings me comfort because it's how we understand each other. However, we both know when to be sincere in order to support each other like we should. With one last glance, he leaves me and strides over to Peeta's house.

Not knowing what to do, I busy myself with tidying up a pile broken bottles from the floor. How he manages to live in this mess is beyond me. I jump up as a piece of glass cuts through my skin. Blood drips slightly from the cut so I move to the sink to wash it. I didn't realise it was bleeding so much but the water turned a pinky-red colour quickly. I was yanked from my daydream by a fierce banging on the door. Nervously, I rush to the door and open it without bothering to dry my hands. Haymitch stands outside looking frantically panicked. Worried, I look for any tell-tale signs of danger before stepping out and looking at him with a questioning look.

"It's..Peeta," he pants "He had another flashback." Haymitch signals wildly to the house across the Victor's Village. And that's when I see the blood dripping off his finger.

**Author's note: So sorry it took so long to update. It shouldn't take as long for chapter 4 to be up. To make up for it, I made this chapter extra long! Hope you enjoy!**


	4. Chapter 4

"It's..Peeta," he pants "He had another flashback."

All at once, what little blood I have left effectively drains from my face as I imagine all the possible situations Peeta could be stranded in right now. Haymitch actually has to yank my shivering arm before I am even half-alert.

"Come on, sweetheart," he says as he runs quickly across the yard that separates us from him. I'm not sure if my mind is even functioning as I briskly follow. The door is still ajar from Haymitch's first visit so I can easily slip in just in front of him. I attempt to call Peeta's name but my voice comes out hoarse and broken.

"Katniss. Calm down, he's okay." Haymitch pats me on the back. His words sound unusually sweet and comforting but I can't understand the message. Right now, my only mission is to find Peeta. And stay conscious while doing so.

As I frantically try to reach him, a strangled noise comes from directly above me.

"Katniss!" My head snaps up. I run toward the sound. My small yet strong hand closes around the door handle.

"Don't come in here!" Well that stops me in my tracks. My usually predictable Peeta has been strangely unpredictable today. Why wouldn't he want me to come in? Maybe it's worse than I thought. If so, I'm definitely going in.

The sight in front of me is certainly not what I thought-m. To be honest, it's a lot better. From what I can see, no damage has been done. Well, except the bed that lies literally broken in half. Peeta sits scrunched up in the corner, his hands held out in defence from what I assume is me. A worried look etches across his tanned face but his blue eyes blaze through his sadness.

"Peeta?" I say as gently as I can muster. Relief floods through my squeaky voice, although I still don't know what has happened to him.

"Don't come near me," he warns, but the effort has left. I sigh. Peeta is not in a mutt-like state; he's still trying to protect me.

"I want to," I simply reply as I skid past his arms and shimmy down the wall so I am leaning against his side, head turned to listen to him. Carefully, he lowers his arms and gazes at me. His blue eyes are really beautiful in this light.

"You shouldn't be here," he says.

"When has not being allowed to do something ever stopped me, Peeta?" Its a fatal attempt at humour. He lets out a small chuckle.

"Im sorry, Katniss."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I say.

"For one, your face. For two, your feelings. Three, the bed," he lists. I involuntarily let out an exasperated sigh.

"Peeta, its fine. My face will heal, my feelings are ok as long as you are and we can buy a new bed." He smiles sadly. Usually he's the optimist of our pair. "Honestly, its fine," I try again. The silence stretched out as I realised he wasn't going to answer.

"So, what do you think triggered it?" I could try to word it more carefully, but theres not many other ways to ask someone what made them think you were a mutt who killed their family. His expression confuses me. He looks as if I should know this so I struggle to think of what has happened recently.

"A year today," he says. A year today? Could it be when he was moved to thirteen?

"A year today what?" I ask as gently as possible.

"Everything. The pearl. The tree. The lighting. The enemy. The hovercraft. And then..darkness. Everything was gone. Including you, Katniss. I could barely breathe when I found out someone had took you. I didn't know what was happening- what they would do to you. I worried as they beat and tortured me. I worried as I ate what little food I was given. I worried as I slept. Every second of the day. It was certainly more torturous being without you than being whipped and punished, I can assure you." I am struck once again with his talent for making me speechless. I would never have guessed that's what caused his flashbacks. Personally, I only remember the most important dates-exactly for the reason Peeta shouldn't have known what day it was today. However, looking back on it, keeping significant dates in memory is a very "Peeta" thing to do. He's sweetly sentimental.

"Sorry?" I say, almost a question.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he mimics my voice, earning a chuckle to escape my throat. That's when I know. After all the commotion of the past few days, I finally have the real Peeta back.

"I am the one who should be sorry, Katniss. For putting you through all this. I need you to know that you caused none of this. I just kept thinking about that day, which lead on to thinking about being tortured, and all the videos they showed me of you..." He has to stop the gather his emotions.

"Then, when I left you at Haymitch's, I was only planning on leaving you until this day was over- if you wanted me back, of course." He clears his throat. "I came back here and...I saw the pearl. On your dresser when I was sitting on the bed. I don't quite know what happened after that but when I woke up I panicked because I had no idea where you were and the bed lay strewn in half," he explains.

His glazed eyes stare at the door intensely, focusing on an unknown point. My arm moves of its own accord as my hand clasps his tightly. Slowly, his other hands rests on my knees in a protective way and I lean my head on his shoulder.

"Thank you." he whispers. His lips move to peck my hair but I move my head up. Staring at me, he sits. This time, I realise how lucky we really are. Maybe the odds weren't in our favour, but why should odds even matter. I mean, I don't always believe all that inspirational talk, but sometimes it is true. We defied the odds and the millions who supported them. We didn't come out singing and dancing with glory and triumph, but at least we came out. Together.

My eyelids flutter closed as I lean in for a deep kiss. This time, I really appreciate the boy with the bread and it's not a lie or even an exaggerated truth when I say I can't live without him. I love him. His lips taste like the type of delicacies I could never afford when I was young. His embrace is caring and gentle. As he pulls away, I feel lost yet dizzy with love.

"I love you," I say confidently.

"I love you more," he adds.

"Oh, Peeta, if only that were possible," I whisper as I lean in for a kiss that's somehow even better than last time.

We spend the night like that, locked in one another's embrace. All the trauma and the sadness and the panic seize to exist now. Tonight, we are one being, safe and calm and connected in every way. It's the first time since being born I've felt truly at peace. And for that, I love you always, Peeta Mellark.

Author's Note: I am very sorry about the time it took me to write this! I've been quite busy lately but I still should've done it sooner. Thank you to everyone who viewed any of the previous chapters and to anyone who stuck with me through this story! *three-finger salute* Hope you enjoy the conclusion, bye!


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